CHRONIC FATIGUE JOURNAL: DAY 59-65

WELCOME

I 've had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for almost five years.
Today I made the decision to start this online Journal, in the hope that it may be of assistance to others.
This disease really got the better of me this week.
I call it a disease because my body in definitely not at ease with this illness.
However when I say that, this disorder has been the reason behind my Spiritual Journey and my connection to God, in a much more simple way.
So here I am.
I meditate.
I breathe.
I speak and think positive thoughts.
Yet this week...
More fatigue...
Plus...
Plus...
So I found myself being extremely disappointed in my decline...
Anyone who has Chronic Fatigue, will relate to...
It's not about being tired or sleepy...
More like being in, a constant state of flu like symptoms...
No amount of sleep or relaxation helps...
So to go to my specialist and be given a lot of potential illnesses that can develop, sent me into more of a spin and even more disappointment in myself.
Perhaps up until this week, I may have been living in denial.
Most people don't even believe that it's an illness.
So now, I start again on a fairly strict regime of medication, low G.I. diet, limited sun and possible triggers of even more symptoms.
The hope is, that this regime will slow down or kill the bacteria that is responsible for this illness with-in my body.
So if you know of someone ,who may have Chronic Fatigue, or any other energy disorder, please be patient and kind to them...
In Love.
Rose

Day1 follows BELOW

THE THREE ASPECTS OF ME! (30.08.09)

While resting last night, the following became very clear to me, so I'll explain as simply as I remember it.
As most of you know I write on three different blogs and last night it became clear to me that some might think, how can this woman have Chronic Fatigue and still write entries elsewhere.
So...
My CF journal is very much about My Body...
My Breathing blog is about My Mind...
My I AM ROSE blog is My Spiritual connection to God....
All of these are aspects of Me, these blogs expose...
The Whole of Me...
My Body...Mind and Spirit.
How you might ask?
Read my entries and you'll find out.
The fatigue is what brought me to this place of... Stillness...Silence and Reflection...
So I thank the fatigue for this and I welcome the fatigue with Love...
It has served me well.
Now it is time to Live fully in...
The Now Moment.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

DAY 59-65

I Love The Joy Birds Bring Into My Life!

After a bout of the flu, I now am extremely delighted to report that I'm not too bad.
It's been almost a week since my last post, a special thanks to Renee for her much appreciated comment on the last entry.
I have embrace the fact that I'm not about to question why I feel OK, just accept it and enjoy the moment.
I have started taking Immuno X, Zinc, Vitamin B12 and Omega 3 again and I feel that these are of great benefit to my energy level. I was encourage to cease these previously by a doctor,something to do with what he called bad Vitamin D, this meant no fish or eggs either and very limited sunshine. This actually didn't sit right with me on so many levels, but the one that really stuck out and which I found frustrating was yet again I was denying myself food and activities that I enjoy, a big part of my physic actually was in conflict on a continual basis. So now I'm happy to be doing what I want and I came to the realization that I really..." FEEL HAPPY"...
Something that I realized was missing for a while. I knew I wasn't depressed, I knew I have a great husband, family and home, but I wasn't HAPPY.
So I knew that no-one else can make me HAPPY except ME.
So now here I AM...HAPPY.
I hope that we all can find our own happiness despite our chronic illnesses.
In Love.
Rose