WELCOME

I 've had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for almost five years.
Today I made the decision to start this online Journal, in the hope that it may be of assistance to others.
This disease really got the better of me this week.
I call it a disease because my body in definitely not at ease with this illness.
However when I say that, this disorder has been the reason behind my Spiritual Journey and my connection to God, in a much more simple way.
So here I am.
I meditate.
I breathe.
I speak and think positive thoughts.
Yet this week...
More fatigue...
Plus...
Plus...
So I found myself being extremely disappointed in my decline...
Anyone who has Chronic Fatigue, will relate to...
It's not about being tired or sleepy...
More like being in, a constant state of flu like symptoms...
No amount of sleep or relaxation helps...
So to go to my specialist and be given a lot of potential illnesses that can develop, sent me into more of a spin and even more disappointment in myself.
Perhaps up until this week, I may have been living in denial.
Most people don't even believe that it's an illness.
So now, I start again on a fairly strict regime of medication, low G.I. diet, limited sun and possible triggers of even more symptoms.
The hope is, that this regime will slow down or kill the bacteria that is responsible for this illness with-in my body.
So if you know of someone ,who may have Chronic Fatigue, or any other energy disorder, please be patient and kind to them...
In Love.
Rose

Day1 follows BELOW

THE THREE ASPECTS OF ME! (30.08.09)

While resting last night, the following became very clear to me, so I'll explain as simply as I remember it.
As most of you know I write on three different blogs and last night it became clear to me that some might think, how can this woman have Chronic Fatigue and still write entries elsewhere.
So...
My CF journal is very much about My Body...
My Breathing blog is about My Mind...
My I AM ROSE blog is My Spiritual connection to God....
All of these are aspects of Me, these blogs expose...
The Whole of Me...
My Body...Mind and Spirit.
How you might ask?
Read my entries and you'll find out.
The fatigue is what brought me to this place of... Stillness...Silence and Reflection...
So I thank the fatigue for this and I welcome the fatigue with Love...
It has served me well.
Now it is time to Live fully in...
The Now Moment.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

DAY 31-32 BALANCE

The following was a poem that I wrote about a year ago.
I felt a very strong connection to God and still do. This was my saving grace during a difficult time in our family. I have come to appreciate that this illness is definitely an energy disorder and just how others actually affect this as well.
So for me to take responsibility for my own emotions and feelings was a big part of my healing journey. I understand that this is my journey and my truth. So if this doesn't resonate with you, I understand, however if it helps I am happy to share.
My flare up actually started back in March of this year and I feel now, was triggered by a particular written abuse from my brother. This situation has since seen the division of our siblings. Although this was directed at me and my own family, I am really staying right away from all the whys and whats ( the energy just isn't there). So I sit in silence and solitude, trusting in God's plan. This obviously hasn't helped the fatigue, however this event was definitely not about me or my family, it was just directed at us.
So here I am, fatigued today.
Lesions appearing on my hands ( result of the protocol)
Extremely thirsty.
Legs don't feel like they belong to me.
Anyway too much writing so will leave you with the poem.
In Love.
Rose
The energy for the week has been centred around Harmony and Balance.
It's important right now to embrace the balance of our Divine "masculine" and Divine"feminine" energy (if we choose).
To have an equal amount of "giving" and "receiving"
To fully Embrace who we are in the moment.

To LOVE unconditionally...
To Embrace OUR OWN PURE LOVE...
Release the struggle...
Release the judgment...
Release the self doubt...
It's a choice...
Enjoy...
Enjoy "THE PURE LOVE OF SELF"
In Love...Light and Balance.
ROSE.


The following message has been re:submitted due to the energy felt this last week.


BALANCE…
BALANCE of Giving and Receiving equally...
BALANCE in relationships…
BALANCE in workload…
BALANCE in health…
BALANCE of the...
BODY…MIND…and SPIRIT…
It is essential right now…
Not only to find BALANCE…
But vibrate and expand that...
BALANCE…
It brings YOU...
JOY…
It brings YOU…
PEACE…
For it is when YOU truly feel...
BALANCE within…
YOU connect to the...
LOVE of YOU…
YOU begin to feel such wonderful...
PEACE…
From that...
PEACE there is TRUST…
TRUST…
TRUST…
TRUST…
TRUST in the very essence of...
YOU…
The very essence of your connection to...
GOD...
Feel the JOY…
Feel the PEACE…
Feel the Love of BALANCE…
YOU ARE LOVED…
YOU ARE LOVE…
LAUGH…
CRY if YOU need to…
Treat each other well…
From the loving space of...
YOUR HEART…
YOU are SAFE…
In Love...Gratitude...Freedom and Balance...
ROSE

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IN LOVE AND GRATITUDE FOR YOUR COMMENTS

This blog is intended to be a place of healing and sharing.
My hope is that All who visit, benefit in some way from my own experience of this mysterious energy disorder.
I welcome any comments via the address below and will answer any questions to the best of my ability.
Contact me at:
rosehasit@yahoo.com