A BELATED MESSAGE

Hi All.
I hope that you all had a lovely Christmas and Best Wishes for the New Year.
Working four days a week is better to manage my energy levels.The fact that I'm able to work at all is a gift and one I am thankful for. At times it's extremely hard to stay balanced enough to be able to cope with daily events and work as well. I breathe to music regularly and centre myself in love,peace and then balance returns. I still find it difficult at times when people tend to judge me for my inability to participate in some chores, as there is a definite limit as to just how far I can push myself.
We are expecting friends from S.A. today, so J and I have been very busy preparing the house.
So now because I have a spare hour or two I'd just like to say"I think of you all often and that I hope 2011 will be all you hope it to be."
Love and Gentle Hugs.
Rose

Grrrrrr.....

Hi to all who read this.
It's been ages since I've had the energy or the ability to share here. I have had a very severe set back with CFS, making it extremely difficult to keep working. I have just built up enough courage to ask my manager to drop a days work and she agreed to it without hesitation. I realized I was going down the same path as five years ago and chose to stop pushing myself, stop being hard on myself, stop judging myself and most of all stop feeling as though I am not good enough. It has taken a lot of inner searching and lot's of quite time to appreciate what my body is telling me at all times. It certainly doesn't mean that I always like what I'm feeling, however statistically I have come to an understanding of my limitations. I very much live in the now moment, this has been my saving grace and with God's help and ever presence I AM worthy...of my life. I would just like to thank you all for your journey sharing, as we are indeed all in this together.
Love and Gentle Hugs.
Rose

REMEMBERING TO PACE ???

It's been a few weeks since I've posted here.
I have lost my job,due to funding cuts (last one on,first to go) Shame really,cause I loved working there. So for now I'm enjoying some much needed time off from work.
The fatigue has been present again for a number of weeks making minimal tasks a challenge.
I have been offered a job in "The Women's Council" as an Admin Assistant, working with Indigenous Women. I'm feeling positive about this opportuninty and trusting that I'm meant to be exactly where I am in this now moment.
Our friends stayed for a full on two weeks, it's was wonderful having them stay with us, but extremely tiring as well. They have a 4Wd, so on the week-ends we ventured into the bush, it was great fun, although even sitting in the car was difficult.
I hoped that connecting to the awesome landscape would assist my energy levels, as the beauty is truly a gift.
For now I am aware that I'm out of balance,perhaps forgetting to pace myself.
I apologize for not commenting on any ones entries of late on different blogs, but for now this is quite a challenge.
Love and Gentle Hugs to You All.
Rose

WHEN THE WIND BLOWS OR DOSEN'T

Our cat's Taylor and Amber enjoying the sun coming through the window


I know it's a funny title,laughter is definitely the best medicine.
It's been very wet here and once again "The Todd" is flowing,this will be the fifth time since last September. A normally rare occurrence,seems to be whats happening on our planet right now.We are indeed going through many changes,on a physical level as well as planetary.
The fatigue is too present for my liking, making it more difficult for me to do what I want to do. We are having friends come form Adelaide today.They are staying with us for two weeks, it's hard not to feel overwhelmed before they even get here, so for now I'm just taking one breath at a time and living one moment at a time, trying not to get caught up in the what ifs of life. My friend also has an energy disorder, being the host will be a challenge.
I have a feeling of constant wind with-in my body, a reaction to the constant diarrhea and then the medication to stop it. Apparently I had a bug that only immune deficient people get,it's difficult to talk to a doctor who doesn't really understand CFS, so after eight weeks of this gut issue, now waiting on another test.
Love and Hugs.
Rose

THE HEART CENTRE

I’m not sure if any of you are aware that we now live in what is commonly known as
“The Heart Centre”of Australia.
When I mediate and sit in stillness...
I connect to My Heart and Breathe...
I always Hear...
Feel and know that God is always near...
With every breath I breathe I am grateful for this Now Moment of time.
As I write this I’m aware that my bowel issue is still happening. I have supplied three specimens and will find out the result tomorrow.
I have had a couple of people in the last weeks directing bullying tactics at me. Over all this is extremely difficult to respond in any way, other than to say nothing. This seems to aggravate these people even more, so I find myself distancing me from them. To honor these individuals for who they are can be difficult, however in the action it’s my re-action that can have a huge or not so huge effect on my energy level.
The fatigue has been around a bit more these days and I really look forward to Friday my day off, giving me a three day week-end. This week I’m lucky enough to have four days off in a row as we celebrate the Queens birthday as a public holiday here in Australia. My doctor has put me on a new folic acid tablet, which I order from America .It’s meant to be a wonder tablet, relieving my current (ibs, fatigue, weight gain, blood pressure, hormone issues, headaches and muscle aches to name just a few of the symptoms. I’ll keep you all posted on the outcome.
It’s extremely cold here at night getting well below -0. The days are awesome with the sun shining most days, the warmth is quite amazing even on a low temperature day. We now have a gas heater and I’m looking forward to being able to use it later today.
To all my fellow readers and Blog friends...
Heart to Heart Love.
Rose

A ROSE

Not a lot to say this time.
So I'm just going to put a photo here in the Hope of spreading some Love and Hugs to you All.
Rose

RIDING THE WAVE OF FRUSTRATION TO THE CALM OF THE SEA

I am feeling extremely frustrated by so many personal events of this last few weeks.
I just want to scream...
See me...
Hear me...
For I am not just a number...
I do matter...
I wont bore you all with all the events of late, except this one seems to be the catalyst.
I was given an extreme dose of antibiotic's for a pending peptic ulcer. I trusted in what the doctor had said. I persevered for a week of severe diarrhea and feelings of constant nausea. Now I'm bleeding and have an extremely irritated bowel. I'm feeling very flat, my legs are like jello, my head is fuzzy and the fatigue is back.
At the moment food is the last thing on my mind as everything I eat seems to aggravate my stomach.
On a happy note our daughter and grand babe came to visit for a week, to spend Mothers Day with me. We had a most enjoyable day. Then on the Monday our daughter came down with severe gastro and ended up spending the night in hospital on 5lts of fluids. Her baby coming down with it eight hours later.
Not much fun for any one, however we did get to spend two days sight seeing, before they left.
This wave of frustration is more like a Tsunami. So for now I continue to sit in stillness with God.
I have excepted that there are many things in life that I don't have the ability to change, however I also feel that is is my reaction to these events that have a huge effect on my physical body.
So in this moment...
All is as...
It is Now...
Love and Hugs.
Rose

SHINING BRIGHTLY

The sun is shining Oh!!! so brightly today as most days here.
So...A verse from Louise Hays "Healing Your Body" rings so true for me today, from memory it goes like this." The sun never stops shining, it may be clouded by our negative thinking for a while, but the sun never stops shinning" Brain fog is clouding my memory of this verse so I apologize for any mistakes. However this is so true for me today,I am not one who tends to stay in a negative mind set, as I have found it actually contributes to ill health with-in my body. I am very aware of my body's messages and recognize quickly when I'm out of balance. Most times it's environmental or emotional feelings with-in me that have been triggered by another. So I sit quietly,breathe,go with-in and connect with God in the stillness of the breath. This is my saving grace and healing begins for me when I'm ready to release what ever it may be in the moment of time. Anyway...
The temperature is starting to drop at night and stays low until about ten in the morning, so it's a layering of clothing that gets less during the day, a very different environment to what we are used too.
The fatigue is lingering making me wish for Friday (my day off) to come around quickly. My body is aching all over, as I feel my inflammatory response has flared up with this cooler climate. Headache, muscle aches,brain fog, malaise plus...All too familiar!!!
I'll try and get to the herbal shop today, as I was reading about Ginger, Turmeric, Green Tea and Rosemary being of great assistance to arthritis, so I'll try these.
Hugs, Balance and Love.
Rose

A GENTLE REMINDER

OUR HOUSE
We have been very busy of late, unpacking box after box.
We both feel as if it is never ending. It's exciting somehow, like Christmas, we don't know what we're going to find until we open the next box.
The fatigue has been very present these last few weeks, causing quite a few challenges on all levels. On the up side I have had a very severe cold if not flu for the last week.
Oh! Too familiar, the feeling of complete malaise and fatigue. I say this is good if not great, because up until now my immune system has been slow to pick up on any viruses or bacteria, yet this time I had a really good dose and my immune system has kicked in, so I'm viewing this as a positive.
The new home has many small niggling problems, some more serious that others. It rained here for six hour straight causing "The Todd River" to flow again, this is the third time in four months. According to the people of the land we're considered true locals now.
Until next time.
Hugs and Prayer's to You All.
Rose

IT'S OFFICIAL

Well it's official we are now in our new home here in Alice Springs.
Our furniture won't be here until the 1st.April, so until then we are managing with our supplies fro the van. It's not that big a deal as we have everything we need for short term. It's funny really, just how little we actually need from day to day.
Our cats are here with us now, they have just began to settle in,as we also have two new dogs fro the RSPCA (pound).
It's been very full on with the move and my energy levels has been fluctuating quite considerably.
The house is huge and has more than enough room for family and friends to visit.
The whole of Alice is very green here from our recent rain, strange as we live in the centre of Australia, so it's like an oasis in the desert.
I'm grateful for a day off from work today, even though I've been constantly on the phone notifying the necessary organisations of our move, some easier than others and I will be very happy when it's all been done.
I will leave you all with images of Amber one our cats on the day they both arrived (Taylor was hiding ) and our two dogs Monte and Honey.
Enjoying life and the prospect of ongoing wellness.
My Thoughts and Love are with You All.
Hugs and Love.
Rose

FEELINGS AND BALANCING

WOW!!!
I'm feeling very flat and low energy at the moment...
We have been extremely busy with the purchasing of a home up here in the heart centre of Australia...
My bloods say I'm fighting an infection at this time, the doctor up here isn't too concerned about this, in a way it's good as my immune system is working better than what it has done for a while now ( so good news???).
We are going back to Sth. Aust. on Thursday to de- clutter in preparation for our furniture to be transported up here, so lot's happening and feelings of overwhelm don't escape me right now.
I'm finding it extremely difficult to drive once again, however I am staying positive, as I am familiar with feelings of excitement for having recent restored energy.
Currently listening to relaxation music, breathing in Life and God's Love and remembering to pace myself.
Love to you all and I hope for better news and a more positive post next time.
Heart to Heart Love.
Rose

WHEN OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS

The view from our Caravan
Hi All!
It has been extremely hot here, yet the fatigue is at bay.
I started my new job as an Admin. Assistant, I find it hard to call it a job as I love it so much and look forward to going to work. I work on excel and publisher, both I wasn't familiar with, however I'm finding I'm enjoying the creating that these programs allow.
We have just had confirmation that we were successful in acquiring a home here, a bit daunting as we will have a fairly large housing loan.
Still we are trusting that this is right for us now and going with the opportunities that pop up.
We love it here in Alice Springs, our home that we're buying is much bigger than what we really need, it has a beautiful garden and entertaining area. I will be able to incorporate my stillness room there as well and still have plenty of room for guests.
In Love.
Rose

WET...WET...WET

As I write this I'm aware of the extreme weather conditions around our much loved planet.
The snow most overseas people are experiencing, the earth quakes, the heat waves down south where we lived all our lives, to the rain and more rain producing floods all over our state and around different states of Australia.
It's been amazing to see "The Todd River" flowing, as this is rare, it really gets this town of Alice Springs buzzing with tourist and locals capturing this on film. We are expecting more rain today and perhaps more flowing of "The Todd".
There are many parts of the Territory that have been cut off due to flooding of the highways, even "The Ghan" train was unable to get here from Darwin due to water affecting the tracks.The supermarkets and food outlets depend on this rail track for our food supplies.It gives a whole new meaning to remote living and brings home the true value of resources we have all become dependent on. It's all good though as we continue to be in awe of this place.
On the job front I have just received confirmation of being successful in a job that really is one of my passions. Earlier in 2009 I was keen to set up a respite centre for carer's of people with Mental Illness. I always felt I didn't have the skills to achieve this, the energy or the resources to do so. I would have been happy to be an Administrator's Assistant. Well I have come almost 2,000 Kms to achieve this. I felt right from the moment we arrived here there was a reason, this as well as a few others( that are related to my husband) is definitely why.
The Fatigue still reminds me at times to pace, the Blood Pressure issue continues.
All in all I look forward with positivity and excitement as we embark on the next phase of our adventure, purchasing a home here, as we are ready to call Alice Springs home.
I continue to trust that God is leading us to where we are meant to be in any given moment.
I hope that this trust flows like a ripple effect to all who read this.
In Love.
Rose

A NEW YEAR FAST APPROACHES

Hi All!
This year is coming to a close with only one day left of 2009. I find myself reflecting on past events that the year held for me, some good, some not so good, some far better than what I could have only imagined, becoming a reality.
We have been extremely stressed with family issues, that inadvertently effected our animals back in Sth. Aust. We were going back there for Chrissy anyway. Wow! We found it full on, our son had left the house in a disarray, with friends coming in to feed the animals.
Our animals thrive on human contact. At this point in time we are unable to bring them up here as housing is in short supply. We were relieved when my second cousin was available to house sit and very willing to look after our dog and two cats. All in all it turned out well and meant we are now able to breathe a little easier, without the pressure of finding a house straight away, even though we're still looking.
I resigned from the full time position, as the stress level contributed to my Blood Pressure rising.
I have been advise by my Doctor to stay out of the sun as it trigger's all the little critters that cause the fatigue to worsen. Since being up here in Alice Springs where the sun shines brightly and from hot to very hot, sun denial isn't on the agenda and I'd have to say I feel this is actually helping rather than making my illness worse. INTERESTING!!!!!
I am going for another job interview on Monday as a Administration Assistant and hoping to be successful.
I hope you all have a...
Great New Year...
Filled with Love and that 2010 will improve health wise for Us All.
In Love.
Rose

IT'S BEEN AWHILE

This place I call my journal has been calling me for the last week. It seems that I am writing here less and less.
Since my last entry so many events have happened. The most interesting is I was offered a job, something that I haven't done for the last five years because of CFS. I found here I chose actually to take the job, an easy choice of working in air-conditioning or being subject to constant power outages here (three in the last week). I know that electricity is very much a luxury, however when the temperature is well above 40c every day, I give thanks and gratitude that we live in a developed country.
The fatigue is intermittent and reminds me often to pace. I must say that working is definitely something I felt was behind me, so for now I'll monitor my energy level and choose appropriately. After five years I feel perhaps I'm one of the more fortunate with CFS, so for now I'm enjoying the company of others and eventually the income addtion to lighten the load of our expenditure.
My compassion and Love go out to All who read this. My hope is that in some way it adds hope to All with Chronic Illness.
In Love.
Rose

A SUNSET PHOTO

Hi everyone.
It's been awhile since I last posted anything here.
We've settled in to a very simple life style of living in our van in a caravan park, most days I try and walk two by twenty minutes walks, one in the morning and one with J in the evening.
My skin had a reaction to the change in water, the water has a lot more calcium in it up here than what we've got back home in Adelaide.
My feet have been a very real issue since being here.First lots and lots of cracks all over my feet, extremely painful and I needed to take extra good care of them. While our daughter and grand-daughter were here, my feet and leg's were very puffy with lots of fluid I felt like a puff ball. It was all to do with the heat and my blood pressure was up again. I'm back on pills again for high blood pressure.
All in all I am giving my body lots of TLC, perhaps this is why I feel better at times????
The fatigue still hangs around, but over all my energy level is better up here.
This place that they call Alice Springs has a very grounding, earthy feel to it.
I hope all is well in your part of the world.
In Love.
Rose

ULURU

This photo of "Uluru" was taken on our wedding anniversary...
The shadows are of us with the sun shinning behind us...
To All Chronic Illness Blogger's...
I hope that just for a moment this may lift your energy level as this magnificent rock did for me...
Today the fatigue is fluctuating, from moderate to less severe than it can get...
Maybe time to re-evaluate tablet regime...
We do Love it here in Alice Springs...
Until next time...
In Love.
Rose

NEW START

As most of you know we started a three month adventure in our caravan around Australia.
Well we arrived in Alice Springs almost three weeks ago and fell in love with it...
So...
Here we are...
This is the view from the front of our van...
J has a job here and we will be spending an extended time period in Alice...
The fatigue has become tolerable, providing I pace myself.
I have has a few issues with my feet, after lot of TLC they are responding well...
I feel for me that the key to my fatigue lifting, is to remember to give my body the TLC that it deserves.
The water here is high in calcium, I can't help but wonder if this is helping my energy levels, but for now I'm not questioning...
I'm accepting and enjoying the experience..
In Love.
Rose

DAY 69-82

We've been away for eleven days.
Beautiful countryside, that we have never seen before.
Geographically when we think of where we are on the map of Australia, it's an awesome feeling.
This trip feels so right in so many ways, to be following my heart is a very rewarding gift.
To keep trusting every moment has blessed us with beautiful memories and photo's.
In Love.
Rose

DAY 66-68

The Track Ahead

On Wednesday we go on a trip in our caravan. Although the fatigue is still hanging on, I'm in a very positive mind set. The vitamins have helped marginally,I also need to add Folate as well. We are both very excited about our trip and will be definitely pacing as we go. I think this is what makes van travel so appealing to us, is that we do so at our own pace. I am very lucky that my husband does all the driving as it is something that fatigues me very quickly. I will have intermittent Internet access, so will continue to post here.
I know that being out in nature, without other stresses, is of great relief and a welcomed experience to having fatigue on a daily basis.
In Love.
Rose